![]() ![]() This fantasizing covers both the relationship and the individual involved. Unfortunately, after a breakup, people tend to hold on to the fantasy more than the reality. There are two facets to a relationship the one that’s real and the one that’s a fantasy. You’ll have to consciously forgive again until you begin to recall the events without the underlying emotions of regret or hate. Even if you forgive yourself or your ex today, chances are, something might bring back their memories tomorrow. You’re merely stating that you won’t have any negative feelings toward them anymore. By forgiving the individual and their actions, you’re not condoning them. This isn’t a sign of weakness but the utmost strength and maturity. Then you need to forgive your ex’s actions and importantly, your own. You need to objectively state what happened, either in a journal or through self-talk. What you’ve got to do is forgive your past. You can’t forget your way out of such a profoundly emotional experience. The solution to that’s not to disregard the past. That’s a downward spiral that will prevent you from moving on. In such a situation, you’ll be willing to overlook their flaws and find mistakes with your personality. This can be traumatic if you still love your ex. That creates a vicious cycle of regret leading to anger leading to helplessness leading to regret. The feelings become intense when you realize that there’s nothing you can do about any of it. Every time you replay an event or conversation, it would hurtle between regret and anger. If there was betrayal involved, things can get quite problematic. The more you think about it, the more you get pulled into that vortex. Or even at the circumstances that forced you to act the way you did. Or you’re angry at your or your ex’s behavior. You’re constantly thinking about what else you could’ve done. Understandably, breakups usually fill people with regret and anger. Remember, any direct or indirect communication with them will trigger memories of the past and even dreams of the future. Those are the things that’ll pull you back when you should be focusing on moving on. You shouldn’t check up on their activities through social media or common friends. You shouldn’t passively try to be close to them either. But being actively disconnected is only part of the solution. So, get out of their social media networks or chat groups. But right now, you shouldn’t try to be in their lives. Maybe years from now, when both of you are in healthier and happier places, probably you can be cordial and even be acquaintances. To put it simply, no, you can’t be friends with your ex. It can be a painful and ultimately futile attempt to revive and hold onto a relationship that’s ended. No matter what you may have read or seen, that rarely works out well in real life. You should also know that there’s no way you can be just friends with them anymore. It’s time to focus on yourself and not on your ex’s social plans. But now the priority is your own journey and they don’t have a place in it. Yes, it can be crushing to be out of their lives. You don’t have to know where they’re, or who they’re with. Cut off all communication (Both direct and indirect)įor the sake of your physical and mental health, this is the first thing you’ve got to do. ![]() While it may seem impossible, here are five baby steps you can start taking right now. It’s an inward spiral that only worsens the wound. From “what went wrong” to “it’s all my fault” is a quick and painful journey. Probably you need to analyze all your actions and wonder whether you could have done anything differently to be with the person you still love.īut here’s the unavoidable truth: That’s never an objective assessment, more so when you’re in love with your ex. Maybe all you want is to be left alone and figure out what went wrong. That all your hopes and dreams have turned to dust. It can feel like your whole life’s come to a halt. It can sound easy and even patronizing to suggest that you should think about your mental health when you’re at your lowest and deeply vulnerable. But there are ways to move on and come out of it stronger and healthier. It can be a devastating blow to your mental health, especially if you are still in love with your ex. It can destroy your self-worth and leave you feeling lonely and unwanted. A breakup doesn’t just end a relationship. ![]()
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